• me talking to little kids: oh hey man wow I like your shoes they light up! No way I wish I had some like that, I bet they make you run so fast!!
  • me talking to older people: I'm not really sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I figure that as long as I'm happy it can't be that bad
  • me talking to people my age: well howdily doodily my fellow young people, what's hip hop happening over here? I'm just off to inject a meth and listen to an MTV if you youngsters are 'down' also haha look at that lingo, golly gosh what a time to be alive
Reblogged from dwightschruting

chraystmaseve:

omgoswin:

kylesbogusjourney:

Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.

Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.

Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.

 #OOOO FUCKING OWND YOU GOT FUCKING SLAM DUNKED SON YOU’RE GONNA NEED LIKE TEN FEDORAS TO COVER THAT BRUISE FUCKNUTS

(via terfkin)

Reblogged from kylesbogusjourney

baebees:

I have woken up early and all i can think about is dogs on trains like omfg with a little backpack and they go and find their seat and when the ticket inspector comes he’s like whos dog is this and the dog unzips his bag with his mouth and gets his ticket out and the ticket inpesctor says ‘sir, i didnt realise, have a good day’ and then the dog gets off at his stop and somehow knows the way 2 whoever’s house he is visiting and stops at all the crossings

(via tonymohawk)

Reblogged from baebees

maverikloki:

deejohnes:

maverikloki:

I hear my mom shrieking downstairs, shouting up to me about “THE CATS! THE CATS!”

I run downstairs, thinking someone has died or something and see THIS:

image

image

image

I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING TO GET OVER THE ADORABLENESS

They look like they’re about to break out in a musical number

hence:

image

(via daft-hunk)

Reblogged from maverikloki

elijahkrantz:

I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit

(via sweetchiliheatdoritos)

Reblogged from elijahkrantz